Five-Thirty AM - XXIII

Mrs. Imani entered her daughter’s room when she didn’t get a response to her knock. She was startled at the sight in front of her.

Mitul sat on her bed, headphones on. She leant against the headboard, eyes closed. Noel’s pain-filled voice was all that she was aware of. Tears had seeped down her cheeks and soaked her face. Files, recorder and laptop were strewn across the bed. It was already past eleven but it didn’t look like Mitul was falling asleep anytime soon.

Kamini sat down on the bed, the dip in the mattress giving her presence away. Mitul opened her eyes, startled.

‘Ma?’ she asked, taking off the headphones and switching off the recorder.

‘What were you listening to that was so sad?’ Kamini asked.

‘Noel’s story,’ Mitul’s face was turned away, looking for something.

‘You never did tell me about Noel,’ Kamini said, after waiting for her daughter to say something. ‘What is he like?’ Her voice was serious.

Mitul raised tear-filled eyes to her mother, ‘he’s a wonderful person, Ma.’ Her whisper contained so much pain, that Kamini’s eyes filled with tears.

‘Tell me about him,’ she invited gently.

Mitul was obviously having difficulty speaking. She wanted to talk to someone who would help her understand this man and understand herself. Her mother’s voice broke down that reserve. She dropped her head on her mother’s lap.

‘Ma, I don’t know what is happening to me,’ she was a little girl now.

Her mother frowned, puzzled. ‘If you don’t tell me what’s happening to you, how can I tell you what it is?’ she questioned.

Mitul sat up. She sniffed and looked down. ‘When we met in Canada, I met him only as an actor, somebody that I wanted to write about. We became .... friendly. We went to cottage country with Maasi,’ she swallowed, all the memories tumbling back into her mind. ‘Became friends. He was always there. Always around me. I liked spending time with him, apart from the work we were doing, I mean.’

She leaned back, trying to sort her thoughts out. ‘We hung out, Piya, Jiya, Anuj, Rajan and Noel and I. We had a lot of fun. He seemed to really enjoy himself then.’

Her mother waited out her pause, feeling like her daughter was gathering up her courage to tell her something more.

‘Then he asked me to come down to El Paso where they were shooting. I ... we spent the weekend traveling in New Mexico ... to all kinds of remote places.’

If her mother was shocked, she didn’t show it. She was confident of her daughter and the values she’d inculcated in her. The fact that she was revealing that they’d spent a weekend together told her more than anything, that nothing had happened for her to be ashamed of. Her daughter had never been promiscuous. If she had to take a bet on it, she’d say her daughter had never slept around, like other girls her age. But, as a mother, she also needed to hear it from her.

‘Did the two of you ...?’ she asked

‘No! No, Ma,’ Mitul protested, although the darkening color of her cheeks told her mother that something had happened. ‘Noel was a perfect gentleman. We didn’t do .. anything,’ her big eyes imploring her mother to believe her.

Her mother nodded. She believed her.

‘I began to think that he liked me. But while we were in El Paso, I realized that he’s an actor. He is always open to temptation from women in his profession. And his fans, ugh!’ she was mad about it, still. ‘They are all over him. I mean, I know he’s good looking and he’s an actor, but do they really have to be like that?’ she was furious with these women.

Her mother was still not sure where this story was leading to, but one thing she was sure of. Her daughter had started becoming possessive of Noel James. She was amused by it, but she wanted to hear the whole story.

And then it all came out. How she’d decided to push him away, because she didn’t want to get hurt. And now that he’s pushing away, it hurt her more. Especially now.

‘Why especially now?’ her mother was curious.

‘He almost died, Ma. Not once, but twice!’ she said. ‘And the second time, he nearly killed himself! How could he do that? Doesn’t he know that I ...’ at which point Mitul burst into tears and hid her face in her mother’s lap, sobbing heartbrokenly at the idea of no Noel in her world. ‘I’d die without him, Ma,’ she cried.

My poor baby, thought her mother. What has this boy done to you?

‘You love him?’ she asked gently.

Nod. Sob.

‘And what about him? Does he love you? Has he said anything?’ she asked.

Mitul sat up, wiping her eyes and her nose on her mother’s sari. ‘No. No, he hasn’t. In fact, he has become all cold and polite now.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know,’ fresh sobs churned up Mitul’s throat. ‘Maybe because I pushed him away.’

‘And why does it hurt so much now?’ she asked.

Mitul quietened down, the storm of tears having passed. ‘He’s not like other actors. He ... He’s kind and charming and confident and ... and a joker. He’s got depth, someone who’s loyal to the person they care about. Someone who will punish anyone who hurts his own. He’s caring and loving.’ Her voice had turned wistful and it didn’t go unnoticed by her mother. ’He’s been through so much, and I never understood him at all! I think I made a big mistake, ma,’ she said, sorrowfully.

Her mother sighed, wiping her daughters’ eyes. ‘Yes. You did. And what are you going to do about it?’

Mitul hiccuped. ‘I don’t know if he still likes me,’ she said softly, uncertainly. ‘I should apologize, shouldn’t I? I misjudged him so much.’

‘Yes, the least you can do is apologize.’ Her mother smiled. ‘I really would like to meet him sometime.’

She nodded shyly and then looked up scared. ‘What if he doesn’t accept my apology?’

‘Wait till you come to that bridge. It’s only understandable that he is hurting now, and he might not want to forgive you so easily. You’ll have to work extra hard if you really want him back,’ she stroked back her daughter’s hair. ‘Now go wash your face, and go to bed,’ she instructed.’

Mitul slid off the bed and went into the bathroom.

Kamini started collecting Mitul’s paraphernalia together to remove from the bed. As she put them down on the table, papers slid out of the folder and fell on the ground. She picked them up and curiously turned them over. Eight-by-ten mattes of Noel James looked up at her. Noel in close ups, long shots, single shots, group shots, with Mitul, with other people, recognizing Piya and Jiya in some of them.

She put the pictures away, her gaze lingering on the one in Carlsbad, taking in all the details. Like Dev, she didn’t miss the body language.

‘Oh my!’ she whispered.

She put it back and quietly left the room before Mitul came out of the bathroom. She slipped into bed next to her husband who turned to her and said, ‘so. Did you speak to Mitul?’

She nodded and grinned at him. ‘Get ready to welcome a Roman Catholic film actor as your son-in-law!’

‘What? She’s not marrying that film actor,’ he sat up.

She sat up too, and rested her head on her husband’s back. ‘Shh! I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. I don’t think he'll give you one,’ she smiled.

They lay down again, with her in his arms. He looked at her and said, ‘I really have to do this, huh?’

She nodded, eyes sparkling. ‘But not right away. They still have to work out some minor issues,’ she said. He raised his eyes brows. ‘Just give them time,’ she said, kissing his chin. ‘Good night’.

He had to be satisfied with that.

****

In her room, Mitul thought back on the conversation with her mother. She pulled out her phone and dialed Noel’s number, thinking she’d just leave him a voice mail as it was already so late.

To her surprise, he picked it up after two rings. ‘Hello?’

She could hear the sound of music and laughter in the back ground.

‘Hello?’ he asked again, louder.

‘It’s Mitul,’ she spoke in low tones, not wanting to wake up her parents.

‘Who?’

‘Mitul,’ she repeated.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t hear a thing you’re saying,’ he said. ‘I’ll call you back tomorrow.’ With that, he disconnected.

She stared at the phone. So much for trying to apologize, she thought. She turned off the light and was almost falling asleep, when she recalled something. Just before he’d hung up she’d heard a woman’s laughing voice saying, ‘Noel.’

*****

‘Noel,’ said the tall leggy model who was sitting next to him. He looked at her, and slid the phone into his pocket. He smiled at his companion. She slid an arm through his and said, ‘dance?’

‘Sure,’ he said, walking her over to the floor, putting an arm around her, and then swinging her around, deftly moving to the salsa beat.

Dev kept an eye on him. He was worried about his friend. Noel usually avoided parties like these, loud, garish and vulgar - all in the name of modernity. Yet today, he’d called Dev and asked if there was a party that he, Dev wanted to go to. He’d even brought along a date. The tall leggy kind, the kind you never take home to mama. He hoped to God Noel knew what he was doing. If Mitul came to know of this, Noel would probably not even get the chance to kiss her goodbye, he thought.

The other thing that worried him was that these parties were a hotbed of drug use. He knew it, knew how to avoid the temptations. Noel, on the other hand, needed to avoid these kinds of places. Yet today, he’d sought it out!

He wondered who the phone call had been from. It was late for most people. He frowned. Noel was having a good time. So why did it look so fake? Like he was trying to be the life of the party a bit too hard.

Noel was determined to enjoy himself. He danced, he laughed, he chatted, he even nuzzled his date. Finally, he dropped her home.

She leaned forward to kiss him, and suddenly for a moment, Mitul flashed into his mind’s eye. He leaned forward, his eyes closed as his lips brushed over hers. He didn’t feel a thing. He deepened the kiss, hoping his body wouldn’t let him down, that he’d feel something. There was nothing! He drew back after sometime, and opened his eyes. She was looking at him, invitation clearly etched in hers.

‘Do you want to come in?’ she murmured.

He hesitated a moment, and then shook his head. ‘Sorry. I have to be up early,’ he said.

She pursed her lips, eyes searching his face in the dim light of the dashboard. ‘You really need to start cashing all these rain checks, you know. They might expire. Soon.’ Her meaning was clear.

He gave a rueful smile. ‘We’ll have to see about that, won’t we?’ he lifted her knuckles to his lips and dropped a light kiss. ‘Good night.’

‘Good night, Noel, you charmer, you,’ she laughingly said, as she slid out of the car and walked to her door, her hips swaying invitingly.

Only Noel wasn’t looking at those hips. He took his phone out and looked the Recent Calls. Last call. Mitul. 1:13 am. Why was she calling him so late? He looked at his watch. 3:37 a.m. Too late to call her. Time to call it a night. He yawned and drove home.

*****

Dev walked into Noel’s apartment late the next morning, asking Shomu to make him some tea. Noel was still asleep. Half an hour later, Noel wandered into the living room, yawning, surprised to see Dev sitting there, hitting on Skyrim.

‘Hey, Dev. What brings you so here early?’

‘You.’

‘Me? What’d I do now? I’m not even hung over,’ he protested, plopping into the lazy-boy.

‘Precisely. What were you doing last night, Noel?’ Dev asked like a school teacher.

‘I was doing what you’ve been asking me to do for a long time. I went out, I partied, I had a gorgeous date, I had fun,’ Noel said casually.

‘Really? So why are you here in your bed, alone, and not waking up at that gorgeous babe’s apartment?’ Dev asked sarcastically.

‘Cause then I wouldn’t be here when you came by?’ Noel cheekily diverted the conversation.
Dev gave him a jaundiced look, leaned over and picked up the newspaper he’d brought. ‘Page 3,’ he said, indicating the gossip section.

A picture of Noel and his date, on the dance floor. From the angle of the picture it looked like they were kissing. Which they weren’t.

Noel looked at it impassively and said, ‘so?’

‘So?! What if Mitul sees this?’ Dev asked him incredulously.

Noel got up and went to the kitchen, coming back with a mug of coffee. He sat down before he answered Dev. ‘What if she does?’ He sipped his coffee and leaned back.

Dev’s mouth hung open. For a moment he forgot all about the tirade he’d planned on unleashing on Noel, and instead stared at him in astonishment. What the hell?

Noel smiled mirthlessly at his expression and said, ‘Didn’t I tell you, Dev? Mitul wants nothing to do with me, as a person. If that’s what she wants, that’s what she gets. Whatever makes her happy. If that means walking out of her life once this book is over, so be it.’ He shrugged and sipped at his coffee, deep in thought.

When he spoke again, the facade was gone. There was pain, anger and hurt in his voice. ‘I bared myself to her, Dev. Told her things I hadn’t planned on telling anybody. I didn’t hold back. Anything. She just sat there. Barely said anything. Not a thing.’ His words dropped to a harsh rasp. ‘I thought it’d make a difference to how she saw me.’ He shook his head. ‘It didn’t. That’s when I knew I’d ... I’d lost her.’

He smiled at Dev, a lop-sided, sad smile. ‘I’m done chasing after her, Dev. I have to move on and the faster I do, the better for me.’

Dev listened to all this with a sinking heart. Things were worse than he’d thought! He’d seen how these two were in the US. He had been happy that his friend had found that special someone, only few of us are lucky to find in a lifetime. But it seemed like it wasn’t as simple as just finding that special someone. It was keeping that someone in your life that was hard. These two were making things unnecessarily complicated, and he didn’t know how to unravel this mess the two of them had made!

He could only try.

****

There were still five more weeks left for the Puri wedding. Mitul was anticipating the arrival of the twins with real pleasure. It was something to look forward to. Right now, there wasn’t anything much to look forward to, and even immersing herself in work didn’t help.

It was Sunday afternoon, and her parents had gone out somewhere. She sat in the living room, flipping channels on TV. She didn’t have a life, she thought glumly, unlike most of her friends.

The ringing of the phone disturbed her. She picked it up. Dev.

‘Hey, Dev,’ she said.

‘Mitul. Just wanted to make sure you checked your availability. Noel’s shooting on sets this week. You can come by any day, if you want to meet him. Just let me know the time. Tuesday will probably be best, but it’s up to you.’ His voice was formal. Just a business conversation.

‘I can do Tuesday,’ she said. ‘About two in the afternoon?’ she flipped through her calendar as she spoke.

‘Yeah, that will do. Tuesday it is. I’ll see you there.’ With a few words, he disconnected, his lips firmed into a grim line.

Told you not to hurt my buddy, Mitul, he thought. Tuesday afternoon, she’d know.

*****

Mitul arrived just before 2 p.m. at the sets of Noel’s film. Dev was waiting for at the entrance.

‘Hey, Mitul,’ he said, when he saw her walking towards him.

‘Dev, Hi!’ she answered, a wide smile on her face.

He led her inside and said, ‘why don’t you watch the shooting for a while today? They’re shooting some intense scenes. I think you’d enjoy it. Noel’s going to be busy for a while.’

She nodded her thanks, and he led her to a chair, right behind the monitor which was clearly visible.

The set was a bedroom, stark and modern, evidently the room of a wealthy person. Noel sat on the bed, script in hand. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans, and a white tee shirt. The director sat next to him, explaining the scene. Noel was focused on the conversation, but as if something had alerted him, he looked up towards the camera. The monitor was on, and she could see his face, his eyes directly looking at her. He seemed to be searching in the dark, but then bent his head again to listen to the director.

Aarti sat on an end table, listening closely, dressed in a dark green sari, her hair loose. Mitul could see the four-inch high-heels she had on to off-set Noel’s height.

The conversation over, Noel walked away, off the set, ostensibly to change clothes. He was back in a few minutes, bare chested, his hair wet. 

Mitul couldn’t help but feel hot under the collar as she watched him striding towards the set. She watched intently as the director called for silence on the set.

Aarti and Noel stood facing each other, their faces serious, intense.

The director called, ‘and .... Action!’

****